Misconceptions
by heartlesspillow
Summary: ONE SHOT. Sometimes, misconceptions are good. In this case, it's poking fun at Sora, so it may be bad – humour at his expense always is. But hey, at least he got his pretty silver-head out of it in the end. Never mind the pain of his gaydar and the gender confusion involved. Main pairing: Sora/fem!Riku. Mentioned: Roxas/Axel. Kind of cracky, but touch of believability.


**Title:** Misconceptions

**Summary:** ONE SHOT. Sometimes, misconceptions are good. In this case, Sora thinks that they are bad – humour at his expense always is. But hey, at least he got his pretty silver-head out of it in the end. Never mind the pain of his gaydar and the gender confusion involved. Main pairing: Sora/fem!Riku. Mentioned: Roxas/Axel

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kingdom Hearts; I merely twist it to my bidding. Idea is mine, so please don't copy! Plagiarism is baaaad!

Author's note: Just to let you know, I do not mean to cause any offence whatsoever. I am not demeaning homosexuality, nor am I generalising. I am also a staunch supporter of a smarter Sora (because I truly believe he is smart), but for the purposes of this piece of fiction, it must be ignored. Thank you for popping by, and please enjoy! Also it's around 11pm, so I'm pretty tired. I check it over, but if there are any mistakes, please inform me~

* * *

Sora was sure of two things in life. One, he was a completely flaming homosexual, and two, the delicate, silver headed boy with strangely effeminate features who had just moved in next door was going to be his (in the most romantic way possible, of course! He was no _Canosova_, thank you very much.)

He had already decided on his plan of action when he had seen the moving truck come in and after staring at it sleepily for probably an hour, it had hit him, just as the truck left, that his hot neighbour would be moving in and that he would probably see him andthathewasgoingtohavehotse—

He left his brain hyperventilating and stepped outside, strategically dressed in rumpled low pyjama trousers and a tousled top, complete with the 'I-just-got-shagged' looking hair. He arrived just in time to see his gorgeous neighbour arrive at his door, his delicate features drawn into a frown.

He coughed.

The stranger turned.

He smiled.

The stranger lifted an eyebrow, looking him up and down and dragged his eyes to meet his. And he smirked, delectable mouth opening and closing with a strangely high, yet sweet-as-honey voice: "Cute monkeys."

Having said what he wanted to say, the _hotsmexystrangelypretty_ turned and Sora found his eyes latched onto the shapely behind that the tight jeans showed off perfectly. He drooled until it disappeared, with the door smacking shut.

He blinked, registering the sound, and finally his brain returned and assimilated him to his surroundings. He looked down. Dancing monkeys filled his vision.

Turning, he went back inside his flat, and immediately thunked his head on the table. Why did he exist?

No matter, the pretty stranger would be his!

The rest of the day was spent creating a new plan, aptly named, "Woo Pretty Silver-head".

* * *

The next morning, Sora was up at dawn. He had only hit the snooze button 10 times instead of the usual fifty times, so he was quite proud. The things that pretty silver-head could make him do…he sighed dreamily.

He shook himself out of his reverie and made his way to the bathroom, taking extra care with his grooming and dressing. It wouldn't do to make a fool of himself again, after all!

After double and triple checking himself in the mirror, he danced outside and stopped abruptly. There, outside the door he was just about to jiggle his way over too, stood a man, about his height with spiky blond hair. He strayed back, suspicious and decided to wait and watch.

The unknown (but strangely familiar looking) man knocked on the door and from the other side he could hear hectic running, followed by a faint call of, "I'm coming, I'm coming!" Sora snickered to himself. Yes 'coming' was exactly what the pretty silver-head would do when they…uh…did the deed.

The door opened and his silver-haired angel stood there, panting slightly. He saw his eyes widen in surprise at the visitor and he couldn't contain the jealousy that overcame him when pretty silver-head lunged forward and hugged the man, kissing both his cheeks.

"Roxas!" came the following enthusiastic cry. "Come in!"

Sora lit up, regaining his smile. Roxas…that was his brother! No wonder the man looked familiar to him! He mentally patted himself on the back. Now he could be assured that one, the man was a fellow homosexual, like himself, and two, that he was single. It was a well-known fact that Roxas was dating Axel, and despite their constant fights, they really did love one another.

_'But,'_ Sora thought, a pout overcoming his features, _'Roxas _never_ comes to visit me!'_ The pout turned into a beam. _'Which means…this boy, he really is special!'_

Decision made, he made his way to the door and beamed. Over Roxy's shoulder, he saw aquamarine eyes (which were as equally as enchanting as their owner) widen. He put a lip to his finger, and coming as close to the silver head as possible, in pretence of sneaking up on the blond, he leaned forward, smirking inwardly as a faint blush rose to his pretty silver-head's cheeks.

"ROXY-POO!" he yelled, causing the blond to jump backwards violently, pulling the still clinging silver head with him, which would cause them to land on him. Doing some unusually quick calculating, he leaned out of the way, just in time to avoid getting squashed, but by a stroke of bad (or was it good?) luck tripped back to the side, landing on top of the object of his very strong affections.

_'Soft,'_ was the first thought to enter his mind, followed by _'some-girly shampoo smell that smells reaaaaaally nice.'_ Deciding he was in-bliss, he closed his eyes, inhaling deeply.

Below him, he could faintly hear Roxas.

"This, Riku, is my brother Sora. He's kind of weird, so don't mind him."

The only thing that caught up to him was that his pretty silver-head was called Riku. Ah, a fitting name, for he _landed_ upon the _land_. Smirking at his cleverness, he reluctantly got up after hearing a groan from _Riku_.

"Are you okay, p-Riku?" he asked, concerned. He held out a hand, a picture of the gallant knight rescuing his fair ma—er, in this case, youth, was it? from distress.

The newly named Riku ignored it, getting up on his own. His brother too got up, frowning heavily at his sibling.

"Sora," he intoned, countenance foreboding.

Said person gulped. With that tone, things always went from bad to worse.

* * *

_'Bad to worse indeed,'_ his mind muttered as eyes surveyed the living room he had been led into, as if serving a death sentence. He dropped down onto a couch, absently noting that his host had _very_ good taste indeed. Aforementioned host, who had quickly escaped into the kitchen, claiming to get drinks for the two brothers who were now engaged in a contest composed mainly of Roxas glaring and Sora looking anywhere but at the blatant stare.

Minutes ticked by and not a word was said by either. Eventually, Riku entered and exasperatedly set the drinks down in front of them. Sora, eager for a distraction, smiled his 'special Sora smile' at him that was equal parts charming and equal parts too fucking bright, as his pretty silver-head grunted at him.

The smile dropped, but the curious look in his eye remained. A look that Riku valiantly tried to ignore, but ultimately could not.

"What?" he asked, not bothering to hide the cool tone.

Sora took this as an initiative to ask whatever he wanted. And since he was just a tad unsure of the man's sexuality (doubting his gaydar brought serious pain to his ego), he blurted out the first question that popped into his mind.

"Are you gay?"

Silence. Complete and utter silence. Sora felt his cheeks heat up and could even feel his brother's stare, previously hostile, full of disbelief and embarrassment to call him family. He could already feel him cutting off any familial ties with him, and to be honest even he, himself, was mortified.

How could he doubt his gaydar like that?!

The suffocating silence that had been stifling them was finally broken by the party being questioned. Looking quite amused now, he said the three words that Sora dreaded.

"I am not."

The sky had fallen from the heavens. Earth had fallen down to hell. Life no longer had meaning for Sora. His gaydar…it had failed.

Taking a deep breath, he attempted to act nonchalant. He swept a hand through his hair, before jumping up and pointing an accusing finger at his—no. Not his, just the pretty silver-head. "NO. I refuse to believe the lies spewing out of your delectable mouth!" He waved his finger at the general area of Riku's mouth, forging on, "I have evidence, evidence that you like men! Men such as myself, of course," he said, puffing his chest. Before either of the two dumbstruck audiences could interrupt him, he started speaking again, pacing up and down. "One, you act like a girl, ergo, you are gay – and don't you deny it! I saw how you greeted my brother, kisses, hugs, everything! Two, you're really pretty, like a girl! Your long, silver hair (which is so soft!) and your pretty aquamarine eyes, coloured just like the sea. You even smell like a girl; your shampoo…it's girly smelling." He paused between them, eyes studying them determinedly. "And the third and most important reason. My gaydar." He eyed Riku, stalking closer. Kneeling down, he grabbed a delicate hand, lips next to ears, and whispered: "My gaydar…it pulls me towards you."

Soliloquy done, he made to jump back, but the tightening of a hand under his stopped him. Pulling him closer, rose lips settled on his earlobe, and whispered, "Maybe, dear Sora, that is because I _am_ a girl."

Confession made, although it really wasn't much of a confession – he was dressed like a girl, for heaven's sake – Riku leaned back, watching the flabbergasted expression on the brown-haired man's face.

It took a minute or two for Sora's lust fogged brain to reboot itself. Although _he_ had intended to seduce Riku with the whispering with lips and ears, it appeared to him that Riku had a greater skill in that area. After concluding that, his brain finally took in what was said and another 5 minutes of further frozen staring was needed in order to adjust that information into his brain.

"Riku…is a girl?" he asked out aloud. Then, before any of the rooms occupants could confirm for him, that yes, Riku was indeed a girl and did he need a demonstration for it, the formerly completely homosexual man leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss on the girl's lips, nodding to himself.

He stood up, backing himself to the door. He had to get ready!

"Hey, Riku! I'll pick you up at seven for dinner, so be ready!" Full mega-watt charming grin focused on her, all Riku could do was nod dumbly as the tables turned and watched as the man jiggled out of her flat, dancing to some invisible music weirdly.

For about half a minute no one spoke and then Roxas picked up his phone and dialled a number.

"Hey mum? You win. Riku charmed the homosexuality out of Sora."

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE: So, Sora. Both a dumbass and a lovable idiot. And Riku's oozing sexuality, female or male. And Roxas takes bets with this imaginary mother. Ah, family life. XD Once again, no offence meant with this fiction; tis merely a (hopefully) humorous piece of fiction.


End file.
